Twilight // Stephenie Meyer

Okay, before anyone goes and asks, yes, I have read Twilight.

I didn't like it. At all. Not even a little.

I really think I have to agree with Stephen King's assessment, in that Stephenie Meyer just isn't a really good writer. She just isn't. And before I get bombarded with comments along the lines of YUR WRONG!!!1! SHES TEH BEST WRITER EVA!!!!!! --as I've been seeing on just about every comments page I can find on this topic, let me just say that I don't necessarily think that this is Stephenie Meyer's fault. Not completely.

I think whoever was supposed to edit that book really dropped the ball. It was way too long and it was mostly filler. I sat through reading it 1) telling myself that it had to get better (it just HAD to) and 2) wanting to pull out my pencil and editing the hell out of it. There was no reason for me to read about Bella brushing her teeth, then going to bed, and then brushing her teeth again. Chapters could have been taken out of that book and the same story could have been told. The epic manner was unnecessary. That HOLY ADVERBS BATMAN! Let me just say that the description of Edward as he "leaned casually against the gym*" was the kicker for me. Please tell me, if you could, an instance of a young** man leaning against a building during the middle of the day that is not casual. "Casually" was a completely unnecessary addition to the sentence. It was implied. If it's implied in its basic elements, you don't need to include it.

When he's leaning against the gym with vigor, then we'll talk.


That and the fact that the entire thing revolves around an abusive relationship and an incredibly weak female lead. Trust me on this one. I know adolesance is difficult, but that's no excuse. The relationship between Bella and Edward (especially from Bella's point of view) is not something to aspire to. If you don't realize that, then wait until you're a little older. Then you'll understand. Until then, please watch some Buffy.


Yes, I understand that Edward is hot. But as far as I'm concerned, any vampire that has never bothered to drink human blood, and who can't be so good as to burst into flames in direct sunlight isn't much of a vampire at all. I'll take Spike and Angel over Edward any day.

Vampires are strong. Vampires are sexy. Vampires are dark.

Sparkly teenage boys need not apply.

*I may have the tense wrong on the "leaned" part, but yes, that is a passage in the book, to the best of my memory.
**Yes, I know he's not "young" but please work with me here.